I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
