my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
