We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
