I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
They took my balls.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
