my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize