he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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