he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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