i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
