My nipple is on Facebook.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
and she was petting her beer can
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
