So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
