I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
