# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
can u get pink eye on your cock?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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