What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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