we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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