i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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