My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
