I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
