Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
