Can i not drive my cunt home
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
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I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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