All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
