I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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