So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
