...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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