Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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