New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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