Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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