there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
