i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize