I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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