Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
