I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
