...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
