so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Text me some of your sweat
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