Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
