Please, let me fuck your mom
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
