successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
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I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
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He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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