I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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