Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
