My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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