You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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