i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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