I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
