She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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