if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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