I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
