no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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