scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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