oh god the rape fog is back!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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