i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
