If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
