Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Never joke about your clitoris.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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