ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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