I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
