i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
