I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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