I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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