Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize