babies were throwing up all over the place
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize