My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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