We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
