This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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