I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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