he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
